


Calm as a bomb

by spicyexistencial



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-01-22 21:15:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12490996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyexistencial/pseuds/spicyexistencial
Summary: The end of high school is near for Cosima and her friends, taking a school camping trip she's going to make the best of it. Even if that means admitting to herself the huge crush she has on the beautiful French exchanged student Delphine. Who know's where things might go.





	1. I

**I**

Another field trip, the last one before college. The bus is noisy and hot as we ride through the bumpy dirt road. Passing trees and picking up dirt in the back. As usual, I'm sat next to Scott, the only decent person to have an intellectual conversation with.

"I'm so glad I brought my Agricola! We're going to have the best time. Go easy on everyone though, Cosima." Scott smiled and elbowed my rib.

"Dude, your battle bitches just need to step up their game." It was true, every time we play I win, it was getting sort of boring now. Recently I've only joined in because deep down I enjoyed watching the other players get pouts and look pissed as I take the throne once again.

"Watch out!" a high-pitched voice yelled from the back. Then a pompom hits me right on the head. It didn't hurt but still, I knew exactly where it came from, I get up and turned towards the back of the bus. The cool kids. Everyone knew them, wanted to fuck them or be them. Of course, I look right at Kristal Goderitch, the fake blonde with pouty lips. The most popular girl in school and YouTube beauty guru. She blew a bubble with her gum and shrugged innocently. Just to have her best friend pop it. Delphine Cormier the exchange student from France.

"Sorry Cos, we'll be more careful next time." It was a genuine apology because the twinkle in her smile also reached her eyes. My frustration easily fizzled away.

"Oh, yeah don't worry about it." throwing it back, Delphine catches it.

"Merci beaucoup, Cosima." I smile, and can't get myself to look away. Her brown eyes looking right back, making me nervous, burning into me. Then she winks. I quickly sit back down and look straight out the window to hide my pink cheeks. My heart missing just one beat.

I never understood how those two got along, I had two classes with Delphine last semester: AP Biology and AP Chemistry. She is brilliant and so beautiful. We had to be partners once, we got 110%, with extra credit. It was nice, I think it was the only time I've been able to really be myself. Sure, Scott and I are friends but the connection between me and Delphine was one I've never felt before. By the end of the semester, we were almost finishing each other's sentences. After our project we just went back to how things were, we said hi if we crossed paths in the hallway, made small talk in class but she always sat at the front of the class and I liked the back. Without meaning too, every day, I find myself staring at her blonde curls and listening to her laugh at the class clown. Without fail, as if she could feel my stare she would look back and our eyes would meet for just a brief moment. Then I would have to pretend as if I'm staring at something behind her. I was starting to get good at pretending. When I could see her starting to turn I would quickly look up and bring my pen to my mouth as if I'm thinking or turn to the side and scratch my head. I was getting more and more ridiculous and clever at it.

Looking outside I could see the twinkle of a lake not far from the tree line, the bus started slowing down as we crossed a bridge with a creek running under it. Finally coming to a full stop, I noticed we stopped at a clearing, with cabins up the hill. As we were instructed we make our way off the bus and stretched.

"Gosh this feels good, I couldn't stand being sat down for much longer," I told Scott.

"I hear you, can't wait to find out where we are sleeping," he said.

Obviously, the girls are only meant to stay with girls and the boys with other boys and to make things worse we were assigned a bunk partner. It was an end of the year tradition _so people that have never talked before can get to know each other and to unite the class_ , was how the teachers put it. But the cliques were always going to be there.

"Come on Cosima lets go get our bags," We walked together towards the crowd that formed by the side of the bus, everyone reaching in as soon as they saw their belongings. Spotting my red duffle bag I tried pulling it out of the pile but my stupid weak arm failed me, hoping no one saw me struggling, I looked around finding Sarah chucking and helped me without having to ask her.

"Thank dude," I said, we were really cool with each other since I've once traded a blunt for a bottle of whiskey she had. Ever since then we've just been friends I would occasionally tutor her.

"No problem Cosima, I stick to the tough stuff and you stick to the science yeah?" she laughed.

"Plus, I'm used to it, gotta help my brother Felix too," Sarah continued as she pulled another bag making it look easy and threw it at her brother. Felix caught it but made a horrified face.

"How dare you Sarah, you know I have my brushes and paints in here! I told you to be careful!" Sarah was quick to get next to him and harshly whispered,

"Sod off! You also know I have my contraband in there so keep your voice down!" She looked around to make sure no one heard, then she leaned closer to me, "Hey if you want some of what I have let me know and we'll meet in the woods." she smirked.

"I got some goodies of my own as well." I said, we just laughed and decided to walk together towards the canteen. It was noticeably the largest cabin here, long and tall. Other students were already taking up some room in the long picnic tables. We all searched for a seat but Felix spoke first,

"Right follow me," without a work Sarah, Scott and I followed. I knew exactly where we were heading.

"Hello, my little sea urchins!" Felix greeted his friends, it was Alison with her boyfriend Donnie, and her half-sister Helena for some odd reason she had a Ukrainian accent and I never really figured out why. Alison was the class president and Donnie was on the football team.

"Felix! Goodness sake, so happy you found us, we've been saving these spots for you," Allison emphasized at the empty spot and we sat down, she greeted us, but all we got out of Helena was a little grunt with a nod. The room started filling up with everyone, we all talked and laughed. The buzzing chatter in the room would become so loud that a teacher would stand up and clap, which would make everyone quiet down for a bit but then it would start all over again. Eventually, everyone was sat down and the principal stood up. Dr. Leekie, he had been CEO of the biotechnology group DYAD before he took this job of principal, which seemed odd to me. Why the heck would anyone do that, there was something suspicious about him. Especially that big balled head he had and his face looked there was barely any skin covering his skull, and don't even get me started on his teeth. The guy gave me the creeps.

"Hello, class of twenty-twelve!" Everyone cheered in excitement.

"Congrats on making it to the end. As you know this trip is to unify you as a group and to make lifelong friends. But you also can't forget to behave, there will be a curfew and you should always use the buddy system. Now a word from the Class President."

"Okay guys, that's my cue!" Alison got up and padded down her skirt.

"Break a leg honey." said Donnie as he clapped.

"Make me proud sestra!." said Helena.

Walking up she forcefully took the mic from Leekie and cleared her throat into it, the speakers cracked a bit as she took in a deep breath. Typical of her, she instantly looked professional and ready to give a speech with confidence. She had been Class President since 1st grade and always started as the lead in all the plays.

"You guys! How amazing is this! All this hard work and its almost over. Good luck to everyone with their College Applications. Let's worry about adult life later because for now, LET'S GET THIS POW WOW STARTED!" the room roared. When everyone calmed down she continued.

"Food will be served first, make an orderly queue, and once you're done eating please make your way outside where a few chaperones will be waiting with a box. You'll just have to draw a number out to find out which cabin you're getting. Remember to keep an open mind and NO TRADING."

Alison's voice was a bit too high pitched turning into a mumble as I zoned out. I started looking around the room, all these familiar faces will soon be long gone to live different lives. I applied to San Fran Uni and a couple others around the states. I've been waking up in a cold sweat a few nights before from the nightmare I wouldn't get accepted. How horrible would that be, I've worked so hard on every subject I've ever hard. Before I could get any deeper into my dark thoughts I feel a tingle on my back as my neck hairs stand up. Scared to look behind me I do it slowly, turning my head and shoulders I see her blonde curls, then her brown eyes. She's biting her lip looking right at me. We stare at each other, the way we always do but neither of us is looking away. I try to break my own tension by pushing my glasses up. Making it only worse as a faint smile is on her face. Every time I see into her eyes it's like she needs something and I've been dying to know what that is. What could be missing inside her that projected in her eyes? Delphine ran her hand through the front of her hair and pushed it back.

"Earth to Cosima... Hello, geek monkey! Oi!" Sarah snapped her fingers.

"What!" I turned back around.

"Scott has been saving a spot for you on the queue for lunch."

"Oh! Shit sorry, just daydreaming."

"Lay off the green, you're always spacing out. What about though?" She half asked half joked. Sighing, all I could do is shake my head. Looking back Delphine was gone and I starting to think I had made it all up.

We quickly ate and headed out. Nothing like fresh air to clear the mind. Scott was already planning the Agricola night, with all the class geeks in tow we made it to the drawing bowl, one of the chaperones asked for my name then I hurry up I grabbed a crunched up paper and showing it to the chaperone, she wrote something down and I walked away.

"Cosima! Wait up, or don't... I guess I'll see you later tonight!" Scott yelled.

"Yeah, yeah." I was tired, I love my friends and all but spending 24hrs with them might be a bit too much. I opened my paper up and looked at it.

**Cabin 10**

No! No! No! I've heard rumors of Cabin 10 from the previous upper class. Looking up the hill, I saw it, it was the ugliest one and the furthest one from all the rest. There were stories that they had found dead animals surrounding the cabin one night, another story was that there was a bloody palm print on the door with scratch marks. Now the spooky looking cabin was mine, it had black wooden logs compared to the newer brown ones, those even looked shiny. Mine had moss growing all on it, and the roof looked like it was going to cave in! This had to be some sort of bad joke between the teachers. I'm sure it had to be a health hazard as well! With all the bravery I could scrap up, I made my way up, the scratch marks on the door becoming visible. Could the stories be true? I struggled to open the door, it seemed to be stuck or something but when i did, it was the most sinister creak I've ever heard.

There was a bunk bed, 2 chests, and a little table. Walking in I found the light switch, which was a string hanging in the middle of the room, so I pulled it on. A sudden breeze makes me look behind just in time to see the door shut. Making the whole cabin shake.

"FUCK!" I yell and literally fly on the bottom bunk pushing myself to the back against the wall, holding my knees to my chest and hiding. Then there is a knock. The door handle began to twist. Then a hard knock followed. I feel like crying when suddenly the door is pushed open and a black shadow falls in.

"AAAAHH!" I scream. I had my eyes closed and covered with my hands not daring to see or move.

"Merde!" I know that voice, peeking I see Delphine dusting off her knees, they were scrapped.

"You scared me," I got up to help, the panic evaporating out of me, "are you okay?" I ask, helping her sit and take a look at her knees. She winced and I got a band-aid and alcohol swab out of my duffle bag.

"Oui, no big deal." She smiled.

"This might hurt," I warned as I was about to clean the wound, her knee jerked when I touched it and I pulled away but her hand stopped me as she held my shoulder.

"Sorry, please..." she nodded towards her cut. I begin more carefully this time and put the band-aid on her, careful not to touch her skin.

"Surprises me, I didn't know you were a doctor." Delphine teased.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Cormier." I teased back.

"Well, I'm glad I finally have the opportunity to do so. Since this is my cabin." My heart dropped, she searched her coat pocket and pulled out a paper that had printed on it:

**Cabin 10**


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the typos and the confusion, I do not have a beta, hope you guys like it let me know what you think, please review :)

There's nothing worse than awkwardness, isn't there? How can tension between two people literally feel unbearable? Or just maybe it could be my asthma getting worse, tightening my chest. I hurry to search my duffle for the inhaler. Quickly. I take in a big breath, and hold it, swallowing as I do so. Then again for good measure. That did help, but my rational thinking is telling me it's just a placebo effect.

"Is it true Cosima, what they say about this cabin?" Delphine asked as she was unpacking some belonging into the chest.

"I don't know Delphine, what _do_ they say about this cabin?"

"Cosima, you know what I mean. It's why you were petrified as I walked in." my face warmed up. "Okay, first of all," I got up to face her "A: I wasn't petrified I was just a little scared. B: you didn't walk in, you fell in." We looked seriously at one another but then burst out laughing, Delphine threw me a pine cone that must have been laying around.

"You're so, what's the word.." she pouted and shook her hear.

"Cheeky!" I told her.

"Yes! you're very cheeky." we smiled at each other for a while, clearing my throat I began unpacking my stuff too.

"But to answer your question from earlier, yes I've heard the stories of this cabin. Maybe they're all true maybe they're not."

"Well," Delphine started getting up carefully to avoid as much pain as possible. "If you're not certain about all that scary stuff, I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I take the TOP BUNK!" with that she ran for it! Trying to climb quickly up the bunk ladder.

"NO! DELPHINE!" I was fast enough to grab her from her hip and try to pull her off before she made it all the way up.

"Please Delph, no, I got here first so I get first pick!" I pull her a little bit closer, right against me, making sure she knew I meant business but she became still and let out a shaky sigh instead of getting off. The smell of her French perfume hazed me, my heartbeat thumped hard against my chest. I felt like a had a rock in my throat I couldn't swallow. Taking a step back I let her go, just in case she could feel my heartbeat too, that's something I didn't want to share.

I was going to compromise even if it was taking all my will. "How about we flip a coin instead, please. That way It's even, not the one that came first or the fastest one to reach the top but fifty-fifty." She turned to look at me "Okay if you really want to." She went to her bag and got out a quarter showing me both sides. She was ready to flip but stopped.

"Just so you know, I've never lost one of these in all my life. What do you call?"

"Heads!" I yelled, hoping the universe could hear me, all she did was a little tisk with her tongue.

"Amateur hour." Then she flipped it and we let it land on the floor. With a thunk, It was tails.

"Fuck," I closed my eyes in shame. Delphine just laughed! How freaking embarrassing, I should have unpacked faster and claimed it as my own before she fell in.

"Fine. Fine," I unroll my sleeping bag on the bottom mattress and lay on top of it. "there's spiders on the ceiling anyway, good luck with that." I say letting out a chuckle, in petty revenge. I see her freeze for a second but then she rolled her eyes and made her way up to her bed. I watch her legs go up the ladder but turn around at a certain point as I remember she's wearing a skirt.

Since when have a felt this way towards her. I knew she was beautiful and she intrigued me, more than science I'll admit. But I've spent time with her before. Whatever happened 2 minutes ago felt different. Sure we've bumped knees when I've sat next to her, our shoulders would occasionally brush, nevertheless, my heart never felt like it was about to pop its way out of my body. Now all I could think about is the way she smelled, the way some of her dainty hair tickled my lips. The way she froze the second I touched her waist and the way I felt like freezing in time with her. Having my name on her lips made me crave those long stares we share. The ones that don't end until one of us gives up, something unspoken about. Was this normal, did she do this with everyone, I could just be making it all up.

"You're thinking very loud." She startled me.

"What? I'm on my phone." I lie.

"Ma chérie, you might not know this but you sigh a lot when you're lost in thought." I was caught red-handed, I already knew this about myself, thanks to my parents and Scott. Has she really been paying that much attention to me?

"Well, I have a question for you," I tried changing the topic, Delphine just hummed in response. I get up from my spot and climb the ladder to see her face. She was on her side, her elbow propping her up and her head sort of resting on her shoulder, expecting me. There was a feathery strand of hair that fell on her eyes so she blew it away.

"Delphine, are you a good girl? Or a bad girl?" I asked, not being able to hide the smirk I was wearing.


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support, comments, kudos, follows and all the loving i'm getting. i appreciate you all x x

 

Delphine looked at me, her eyes searched my face, trying to figure out what my question meant. By the way her eyes glossed over, I could tell she was having an internal debate. Her eyes slowly coming back to focus, she reached with one finger and pulled my glasses down to the tip of my nose in an attempt to see my eyes better.

"Why?" she asked wearing a suspicious look.

The gesture made my heart throb. I could feel the sweat starting to build on my palms as I gripped the bed. Our faces were so close.

"I- I..." the words were caught in my throat. I could slowly see a smile forming on her lips she might be catching on to the effect she has on me. Holding my breath, I pushed my glasses back up and looked past her towards the wall so I could try to speak again.

"If you're a good girl I won't tell you, but if you are a bad girl you have to  _pinky promise_ you will do this thing with me. No excuses!"

All she did was nibble her lip.  
"Well," she said, grabbing my chin, forcing me to look at her again.

"Which do you want me to be?"

I could barely breathe or talk with the huge lump in my throat which only got more painful as the milliseconds passed like floating dust against the sunlight. Nothing in the world was more intense than the way she looked at me. Her fingers gingerly traced my jawline. It was subtle but her hands were shaking as she did. This wasn't what friends did if we can even call ourselves that. I was watching her lips as they parted then looked up to her eyes, the most beautiful shade of brown.

Her hand left my chin and searched for my hand.

"I'll decide for you," She said as her pinky wrapped around mine and she brought it in front of us.

"I guess deep down, I'm a bad girl." with that she kissed her thumb as we pinky promised, I slowly got closer to my thumb, her eyes never left mine. My lips pressed against my thumb, to seal it with a kiss. Although I wish I was kissing her lips instead. I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, must have been a while because I completely forgot what the whole thing was even about. Delphine must have noticed I was clueless because she just giggled, completely pulling away and started texting on her phone like nothing had happened.

In a daze, I made it to my bed. Laying there I noticed I forgot to breathe, my whole body tingle in a good way, and my heart was aching just as much as the pit of my stomach. Needing to self-medicate my anxiety I remembered what I was on about.

"Right," I got myself to say, breaking the silence.

"You can't back out now," I said as my fingers tapped rapidly to a group message, not long and there was a knock on the door. Making us both jump.

"Hurry up, get ready," I instructed as I got my jacket and shoes on.

"What do you mean, where are we going." Delphine climbed down a bit panicked and put on her school hoodie. She quickly rummaged through her clothes and pulled out some sweatpants. She started unzipping her skirt, catching a glimpse of her panties, I turned around. Completely forgetting that we might have to change in front of each other. Searching through my things, I got a tin case from my belonging and headed out the door to give her some privacy and to also get fresh air. The scene outside wasn't as hectic as earlier, most likely everyone was in their cabin unpacking. There was a whistle to the side of me, Sarah was waiting for me in the distance, a couple yards from my cabin. She was leaning against a tree, as soon as we made eye contact she turned around and started walking deeper into the woods. If we were going to do this we had to do it fast, Delphine stepped out and closed the cabin door, she was in a hoodie and sweatpants, to keep warm at this altitude.

"Chérie, you couldn't wait for me." At the cute pet name, I turned to look at her

"Thought you could use some privacy." I shrugged nonchalantly. Delphine only shook her head mouthing the word 'No' but it never left her lips. She reached to hold my hand, my heart dropped but I held her hand tightly. There was the same whistle again.

"Okay, lets hurry." We started running hand in hand towards the tree line. We saw Sarah in the far distance, she was running too. Jogging through the fallen branches and trees, was a difficult task while you held hands with someone, but I never once thought about letting go. Whenever I would turn to see Delphine she was looking right at me, with a smile that reminded me of the sun. Everything about her was glowing.

It wasn't long before we started hearing some whispered words overlaid with the babbling of a creek. We looked down the little ditch and saw my friends sitting on a fallen log passing a shiny flask between them. I heard Delphine say something in French as she pulled me away, out of earshot.

"This is what you meant by being a bad girl?" she asked me, the sunshine-filled Delphine was gone and moonlight-filled Delphine was out, her face pale.

"Yes, what else did you think?" Delphine immediately looked at the ground, color rushing back to her face. Was she blushing?

"We pinky promised already Delphine, plus isn't the drinking age in France 16 or something, don't act like you haven't done this before."

"18 actually, and of course I've done it before, it's just... It's just," She looked everywhere but at me but when she finally did she looked as serious as she had done every time we would take a test in class.

"I'm on the cheerleading team Cosima, I'm an exchanged student, and this is a school trip, if I get caught, or if we get caught.." She looked sad, all I could do to comfort her was hold her face with both my hands, trying to stop her from getting too carried away.

"It'll be fine Delphine, I promise you I won't let anything happen to you. Plus, did you not notice who else was down there?" Grabbing her hand, I pulled her towards the ditch.

Kristal was there, playing with her gum as she talked to Scott, who of course was red in the face. Delphine let go of my hand and we carefully made our way down the ditch.

"Kristal, what the hell..." Delphine said.

"Oh, hey girl! Glad you could join, Allison is my roomie and she told me about this little hangout and I said yes! How exciting is it!" As she said that she took a swig of the flasks, handing it to Delphine. She just held it, I was getting impatience so I took it from her.

"Don't babysit your drink, Cormier." I said, taking a drink. It was rough, giving me goosebumps right away but as soon as I swallowed it, it warmed me up, my stomach was on fire. I felt bad that Delphine didn't want to partake so I passed it to the next person. But she intercepted it, taking a deep breath before taking a drink from it. She smiled immediately after, wiping her lips. Her eyes were dark, and with the sun setting her hair looked shimmery pink.

"Oi, geek monkey, are you going to share your good stuff too? It's almost dinner time." Sarah said.

"Yeah, Cosima, we have to get back." Scott continues. Rolling my eyes, I get the tin can from my pocket.

"How can I forget." Getting the spliff, I tried lighting it but the wind wouldn't let me.

"Here, let me help you." Delphine leaned in closer to me, grabbing the lighter from me, she shielded the wind with one of her hands, and helped me light with the other, I inhaled deeply passing it to Delphine, she shook her head.

"Exhale, but blow it back to me," Delphine whispered. Her hands traveling to my face, holding me in place. She leaned in, I could physically feel the static between our lips, I puckered my lips getting ready to blow. My world stopped as she closed the gap between us, her lips were firm on mine, it was gentle. She deepened the kiss, I could feel how passionate she intended it to be as her thumbs rubbed my cheek. I blew out my smokey breath and she inhaled it pulling away after it was done. My mouth was sandy dry, palms were cold, but the heat below my waist kept me down on earth.

Everyone else was chatting around, it didn't seem like they noticed our exchange. The spliff was gone from my hand and was being passed around. Delphine smiled at me and pushed her hair back from her face, bringing her hand down to pinch her bottom lip. Her eyes seemed bigger and darker than what I remember.

"I've seen that in movies." She explained letting a giggle escape.

"Makes me happy that you did." Delphine kept giggling, as I responded.

"You know what Cosima," She came closer, patting my head. By her face, I could tell she was trying to control her laugh.

"You're really short." and with that Delphine started to laugh, setting me off as well.

"You're very observant Frenchie." I said.

Delphine then tried fixing my hair where she had just pat, "But you know," she said. "It's a very cute thing." I'm sure this giggly Delphine was under the influence already and so was I as I pouted, pretending to be upset.

"Awe! Pauvre petit chiot." Delphine comforted me, pushing a hair strand behind my ear. Feeling flirty I pinch her side. She smiled, someone nudged her and we turned towards the person, Sarah passed her the last of the little spliff.

"Right, guys, time to go! If any of you mugs can't control yourself, you'll be dealing with me." She was scary, we all stiffened and tried to straighten up.

"Yeah, yeah Sarah. Don't ruin our buzz." Felix looked his sister up and down, with distaste. His sass coming out in full strength. It was all for the dramatics, knowing him. Blowing off, Sarah walked away towards camp everyone followed. I turn to look at Delphine who was taking the last drag, she beckoned me with her finger. My body buzzing, her soft hands grabbed the back of my neck pulling me close. My hands rested on her hips, this time our lips didn't touch. Instead, we just looked at each other. Her hot breath on my lips, I inhale. Taking her in, letting myself be engulfed by her aroma. Fully conscious of the fact I had her a bit of her swirling in my lungs, slowly seeping into my bloodstream, driving me mad. I squeezed her hips, the lust was worse than earlier when I had her pressed against me. Now I've tasted her, her wet lips on mine, and mine on hers.

Delphine moved towards my cheek and kissed me. My breath was heavy, feeling higher than before, I felt the heat radiating from her against my ear.

"Tu es un plaisir." She whispered.

I didn't know what it meant, but what I do know now is I was falling in love.

 


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello x x i dont have a beta-reader btw. let me know if you want to volunteer. love yall

It felt like we were moving in slow motion towards the canteen. I was glad my legs were on autopilot because my body was numbed either from the cold or from the weed. A howl and rowdy laughter in the distance got my attention, I could see the clique Delphine and Kristal usually hung out with. Jocks were leaning against the wall with their letterman jackets and the cheerleaders giggling in a little circle not far off. I hadn't asked Delphine to sit through dinner with me or any other commitment for the evening so I really couldn't expect her to pick me over them. Every so often my knuckles would brush against Delphine's as we walked together. The closer we got the more nervous I felt. I hadn't planned this much ahead, I only got as far as to get her to smoke and drink with me. What I really wanted was to get to know her more, to figure out what our long stares meant, I wanted to get things straight. Was she always touchy with everyone or only with me, did she feel the electricity when we kissed?

The static between us since the second our eyes first met never left, to this very moment, it crackled in my ears, making my heart ache, thinking about how close we just were. I've never kissed softer lips.

_What does "Tu es un plaisir" even mean?_

"Where have you been hiding Delphine, Kristal? We've been waiting for you." Hollered Paul Dierden, or how Felix liked to call him, after having him in gym class, Big Dick Paul. He came over and put his arm around Delphine, almost elbowing me in the face like he didn't even see me. I noticed Delphine trying to shrug his arm off but it didn't seem to work. All I could do was keep walking, it was like the rest of us were ghosts none of the jocks moved to let us through the door. To be honest I wasn't going to wait for Delphine to ask if she was coming or not. Wouldn't want to look like an idiot in the case she rejects me.

I hate high school.

"Don't worry about it Paul, you should just know we were up to no good." I heard Kristal say in a flirty voice. Delphine laughed, probably because Kristal sounded clever for once. Taking one last glance behind me I saw Paul whispering something into Delphine's ear. But then his eyes turning towards the doorway where Sarah stood. Feeling a little bit bothered, I walked passed them and followed Allison to the same table we sat earlier but this time I sat on the opposite side of it, facing the door.

"Guys, do you think we smell? Do you think anyone can tell, you know, that we're h-"

"NO," yelled Sarah, interrupting Scott slapping the back of his head, making his glasses look crooked on his face. We all jumped at her booming voice.

"And if you don't shut your gob mate, I'll throw your Agricola in the creek." Scott's eyes bulged out of his head, his face drained of color and he looked towards everyone, setting us all off. We laughed up a storm, he just looked so comical. But across the room the popular clique walked in, Delphine caught my eye and waved from across the room. Was she mocking me?

She took a seat between Paul and Kristal a few tables away, giving me the perfect angle to catch a glimpse of her without much effort. But it wasn't like I was actually going to do that all night. Who was I kidding, looking at her all night was exactly what I am going to do. Disappointment filled me up with every glance, she kept talking to Paul all animated, touching his arm, or laughing at a joke. She looked absolutely in her element.

I was seeing red though, Delphine still made my heart ache and stomach flip but not in the way it did at first. The sick feeling boiling in my body hurt, my eyes wanted to shed tears but I stopped myself by biting the side of my cheek until I tasted blood. I get it, with me it was 15 minutes of fun. Now it was back to normal.

The room got quiet as Leekie began talking about the dinner procedures and the talent show after, followed by the bonfire out in the woods.

"Leekie kills my buzz almost as much as you Sarah," Felix said as he continued to draw in his sketchbook.

We all groaned in agreement.

"What is it with you though Sarah, you're in a crabby mood since we got here. Snapping at Scott, shoving me out the way to sit there." he continued.

"Nothing, just a headache. With all this nonsense." She replied. If I hadn't of been looking at her, I would have missed the quick glance she gave the table Delphine was sitting in. There was no doubt something was going on with her. Sarah was always so cool, always so carefree. This was not like her, to see her fretting about something only made her seem more unapproachable.

"Hey bud," I tried to get Scott's attention. He turned towards me with a smile that reached his eyes, reminding me how lucky I was to have him as a friend for all these years.

"Think you can get my salad for me? I'm just not feeling up to it. I'll save your spot." I said. He nodded.

"Don't worry about it Cosima. I know how you get." His smile reassured me. Scott was used to my asthma fits. He was always willing to do things for me when I couldn't. I never use the excuse of feeling unwell to get him to do something for me, right now I just didn't want to get up. Metaphorically I did find it hard to take a breath. The room was stuffy, the windows were foggy with moister. My chest was being compressed with melancholy by the scenario unfolding in front of me, Delphine flirting with someone else.

"Can you get mine too, please... Sorry about earlier, Scott." Sarah apologized. She was sincere, her voice gentle as she spoke. Scott just side-eyed her and nodded, most likely still scared of being wacked by her again.

Dinner came and went. The room was chirpy with a mixture of voices filling the room to the rim. We were all feeling our buzz, it was obvious by the conversations we were having. Starting from ghost and spirits, down to the universe and clones. But the magnetic pull to the person across the room never let me relax. Delphine was in her own world again, just like in school. I guess being roommates didn't change anything between us, and what ever happened in the woods must have only meant something to me. Still, hours later my lips still tingled just thinking about it.

Maybe I'm just in love with the thought of is probably only platonic between us. Plus, by the looks of it she seemed straight.

"Aren't the French supposed to be romantic." I muttered, only realizing after, that I had said it out loud getting weird look from around.

"I could ask Delphine for you!" Scott chipped in as he started getting up.

"GOD NO!" I pulled him down.

"Hush you two, the talent show is starting! Behave while I'm gone!" Allison pointed at us, she was such a mom sometimes. After she was content that we would behave she got up and headed towards the teachers table grabbing a mic. Her job was to announce the performance.

The lights started dimming and as if there was an unsaid rule everyone went "Ooohh," like we've never seen lights turn off before. The performers where announced and did their thing, the Seniors in band class played the theme song for Star Wars. Someone else did some magic. Helena even went up to do the Michael Jackson Thriller dance with Donnie only to be joined by a few other students and teachers. We cheered, so loud and clapped as hard as we could. It was exhilarating to watch them perform. The room was so hyped up, living in the moment. There was a thundering round of applause after the talent show. Big smiles plastered on everyone. The room slowly cleared out after the show, we all made our way outside, it had gotten a lot chillier than the last time I was out it was also dark a few students were using the flash lights on their phone. Sarah rounded the troops and we gave Donnie and Helena a group hug for their successful performance. We followed the crowed uphill towards the opposite side of the cabins. Where a huge fire had already been started, it was visible through the silhouette of the trees and branches. The burning wood was bright, casting shadows around us. Warmness grazed our skin the closer we got. Making it to the top you could see it was a manmade amphitheater with different sized logs all around the huge fire pit.

"Last one to fire pit has to kiss Leekie!" Felix yelled as he ran down the hill.

In a hurry, we all took off! My legs taking the biggest steps possible. Felix quickly found a log long enough for all of us and close enough we won't all freeze. Donnie made it second, followed by Sarah and then Allison, Helena and I made it at the same time, Scott was last causing another ripple of laughter between us.

The smell of the bonfire was nice, it felt refreshing. The crackle of wood was soothing, my eyes getting lost in the flames that sensually danced. It hypnotized me, the brightness burned my eyes but I didn't look away. Spark would drift off of the tongue of the flames, making them fly upwards to blend with the stars. The night was quiet, and the sky was clear. This world scared me, looking up to see all the stars it never failed to make me feel so insignificant. Everything in this universe was insanely immense, some distances so great that by the time the twinkle of a star travels towards earth, and we admire its beauty, the star is probably long gone. That's why I love science, It was concrete. I needed something to grasp and take hold of in this jumbled up existence we live in. It made me feel a bit more whole as it filled the empty space in me.

Delphine made me feel like that too, for a second.

I looked around in search of her, regretting it as I did. Nothing. A tap on my shoulder anchored me to the ground. I knew who it was before I turned around.

"Looking for someone?" She asked, her hair glowing as it reflected the fire. Delphine looked good in this lighting, her eyes looked lighter than usual almost a hazel. Those cheeks were rosy her nose also looking it from the cold. She looked happy to see me, as her smile spread. It was only proof that her smile was contagious as I smiled back but it didn't stop me from saying 'nope' and turning back towards the fire. Paul was still with her sitting between her and Kristal. Only this time he had his arm around Kristal and whispering quite loudly sweet nothings into her ear. It was blatantly obvious Kristal was eating it all up as she giggles annoyingly.

"Oh Paul, wait till we get home." Kristal said in an over exaggerated girly voice.

I looked behind me again to see Delphine absolutely unfazed of the fact the biggest douche in school was giving the same attention he was giving her 3 minutes ago to someone else. Something was fishy. Sarah got up, her hands in a fist.

"For Fuck Sake, Piss off you lot." She said making Kristal look so offended.

"Sarah, you could say that a bit nicer you know. Let's go Paul" Kristal got up to move, but he just stared at Sarah they both looked furious. There was so much tension, but in the end Paul got up and left, being followed by the rest of their posy. Not Delphine though.

"Is there room next to you," She asked me, taking me by surprise.

"Yeah, of course Delphine!" Scott answered for me, the goof thought she was talking to him. Only good thing about this was that he moved away from me so there was a space for her between us. I was enraged though, I tried letting him know this by giving him the most hateful stare I could muster.

What? He mouthed completely oblivious to the situation.

"Thank you, Scott." Delphine patted him on the shoulder as she climbed down. She then scooted closer to me, leaning into my ear. I couldn't help but lean in closer to her lips, they brushed against me and I could hear the deep breath she took.

"Bonjour mon chéri," she whispered. I could feel the warmth radiating from her, it was better than what the physical fire was putting out. This was good, this was what I wanted, but not when it was convenient for her or when she felt like it. With that logical thought, the heat she radiated on me was gone and I leaned away. It took a few of my heart beats for Delphine to lean away too. It hurt to be this way, but I wasn't a toy she could pick up when she was bored. Whatever she was trying to reel, I was done being pulled in.

Throughout the rest of the night, someone played guitar and we sang along to whatever popular song it was. Towards the end, it transitioned to scary stories. Cabin 10, my cabin, was the epicenter of one of them. As if I needed a reminder. During the storytelling, Delphine moved closer and closer towards me. It was hard to act brave but I was doing a better job than her, she looped her arm around mine and rested her head against my shoulder. I wasn't going to pull away, she comforted me.

By the end of the night, the fire was small and the cold was winning. Curfew was announced and the students dispersed as quickly as possible to their cabins, after being scared to death by the stories.

Delphine and I got sad looks, as the word spread that we were roommates staying in the haunted cabin. We got a couple of "good lucks" from girls in the bathroom as we got ready for bed, Helena even gave me one of her spare rosaries as I brushed my teeth. I used my phone to light the way to the cabin, Delphine was already there, in her bunk. The second I locked the door, the silence consumed us. How can I get some shut eye when I'm sharing this small room with the most gorgeous girl in school? I got my pillow and blanket from my duffle and tried to get comfortable in my sleeping bag under the blanket. Staying still I tried going to sleep. The wind howled in the distance making it hard to relax as the wooden cabin frame creaked, making eerie noises. It was freezing, my feet felt like ice blocks.

"Is that you moving the bed?" Delphine asked.

My eyes shot open, hoping she was joking.

"Cosima?"

"Ye-Yeah" my teeth chattered.

"Are you cold, you're literally shaking the whole bed." I was trembling, and I couldn't get warm. There was a cold breeze coming from under the door and going right through me.

"So-So-Sorrry, I'm sta-rting to warm u-up." Lies left my trembling lips.

"Come up here, I don't mind sharing," Delphine said. It was tempting, and she noticed my hesitation.

"You know heat rises, right? It also only makes sense that we put our body heat to use." There was no denying it, I couldn't resist. Violently shivering I grabbed all my stuff and pushed it up with me, she scooted over for me, she zipped open her sleeping bag and did the same to mine.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well, we can connect our bags and make one big sleeping bag for the both of us to share and put our blankets on top." It was a pretty good plan, but my body now was shivering for an entirely different reason. We both helped move the blankets around on us, our hands would occasionally graze. I finished by putting my pillow right next to hers. I got in and laid on my back as she did the same, my hands resting on either side of me. Our shoulders were touching, our knuckles were touching, and her body heat was making me feel warmer. She became my personal radiator, her scent floated off of her and i closed my eyes to enjoy this very moment not wanting to forget a single second of it. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered against me, I could slightly feel my body being rocked by the pounding of my heart. I was slowly regretting getting into bed with the girl I had a crush on. I tried to focus on anything but her. My efforts quickly simmer as I feel her hand turning in search for mine. The butterflies turn into thorns and needles that perforate my heart. Her pinky laces around mine and I could tell her hand were clammy. Her movements were tender, the way it always was when she touched me. There was a slight tremble to her, making me think she was nervous. I tried not to move, staying still to not scare her off. She took her time as her fingers traveled into my palm. Placing her hand flat against mine, as to feel it completely without any space between us. Delphine's breathing was deeper, she kept taking in more oxygen every time, something that I was doing as well. Her fingers started to tracing my palm, going to all the indents and crevices. It was tickling me, our skin touching was maddening. I let her consume me, indulging this feeling for as long as i could. I closed my thighs to contain the pressure she caused between them.

I wanted nothing more than to turn towards her and tangle my fingers in her hair, pulling her to a kiss. A kiss that was deep and long, I wanted to know what her tongue felt like on mine. My mind raced with all the ways we can get warmed up and put our body heat to use like she had suggested. I wanted to feel her shaky hands on my skin and physically feel her whimpers in my mouth.

Nevertheless, I wanted this but not this way. I turned to face her, her eyes were closed and her lip was between her teeth. The moonlight coming in made her eyelashes look so long. She had faint freckles by her nose, that weren't noticeable when she had makeup on. Here I was, thinking she couldn't be more beautiful. On cue, she opened her eyes and turned to me. A shadow masked her eyes but I could still feel her stare.

"What is this Delphine." I asked.

No answer, she just sighed and brought her hand up to push her hair back.

"Why do all this, here with me, when out there you flirt with others like Paul." Her expression quickly changed, she looked taken back.

"Paul? I don't flirt with him or anyone. Am I not being obvious enough with you."

"Delphine, what you were obvious about what letting him get all on you. When we got to the canteen, during dinner and the talent show." I explained.

"Yes I was but not for the reasons you think."

"What reasons Delphine!?"

"Sarah." She said that as if it explained everything. But what did Sarah have to do with this? With us? When we walked down and Delph was pulled by Paul they both whispered something and looked at her. Sarah was also acting weird during dinner when she kept looking at them. Could it be?

"What's wrong with you Delphine? You've been using me and Paul to make Sarah jealous?" To this allegation, Delphine got up on an elbow just like me and laughed out loud, shaking her head.

"No. Paul asked me to help him make Sarah jealous. Not a lot of people know but they've been together for ages. They only recently fell out." Then it clicked. Felix had teased Sarah about Paul in the past but I never really paid much attention to it.

"Oh." was all I mustered, my eyelids feeling heavy and my body tired from today. I laid back down, Delphine followed. I let out a sigh I was holding in. Gosh, things weren't as complicated as I thought.

"I'll admit, I've only flirted with one person since I've been in America," Delphine said. I heard her hand shuffling around looking for something. Knowing exactly what it was I reached for her hand instead, making me smile when she squeezed it. She took my hand in hers and rested them on her tummy, using her other hand to caress the inside of my wrist. It tickled but it was so comforting.

"Good night," I whispered.

"You should know, I'll be having the sweetest dreams tonight." She whispered right before it all turned black.


	5. V

The birds chirped none stop. Their little claws could be heard on the ceiling as they moved from one side to the other, their claws taping faint and quick. I brought up my hand to rub something that was tickling my nose. I slowly opened my eyes, they burned to the need for more sleep but I managed. I noticed the room was flooded with light and gold locks not far from my face. My left arm was under her pillow making it hard to move away so I just stayed. Her breathing was even, not making it easy to tell if Delphine was awake or asleep. Her blonde hair still kept tickling my face becoming more irritating, with as much care as possible I lifted my right arm to move her hair away. I slowly dug my fingers into it and dragged it upward, I felt like I was intruding. Moving her locks away left the nape of her neck exposed, I swallowed hard as to push my lust back down. The more I knew about her the more there was to love. Her neck was scattered with birthmarks and freckles, small and big. I couldn't help it when my fingers touched her delicate feathery baby hair, everything about her was so soft. In the morning light, she only looked more angelic. Delphine stirred a little, making me hold my breath and stay as still as I could. She moved back, closer to me, pushing her bum against me, my stomach now pressed completely against her back, and my mouth was now centimeters away from her neck.

If there was one time I would lose my inhibition it would be now, with her. Without restraint, my hand gently made its way to her hip to slowly pulled her even further into me, as I pushed my hips against her. Taking my breath away as she complied, her body soft and warm against mine. I was crazy for her, just the way I remember being last night before falling asleep holding her hand. My heart was trying to beat its way out of my chest, last time we were this close I didn't want to share its rhythm but now there was nothing I wanted more than to feel her beating heart too. I opened my mouth to take her baby hair against my teeth, they tickled my lips. My lips gently pressed against her skin giving her a kiss. I could feel the goosebumps rising on her skin. That's when it happened, she cleared her throat and it snapped me out of the frenzy I was in.

My eyes were wide open now, the spot where Delphine had just been seconds ago was empty and cold. The room was dark with a tint of blue. It had all been a dream. I wasn't cuddling her, I was cuddling her cold pillow, Delphine's scent still lingered. Someone cleared their throat again.

Knowing who it was I turned over, Delphine looked showered and ready for the day. Her curly hair was up in a bun tied with a bow, she was wearing her cheerleading uniform, the one for cold weather. It was a black long sleeve with the school logo on the front. 'CHEER' printed down the sleeves in block letters and matching track pants. Delphine smiled when we made eye contact.

"Morning Cosima, sorry to wake you. Just seemed like you were trying to strangle my pillow. Were you having a nightmare or something?" Her smile eased me. If only she knew.

"Something like that," my voice raspy from sleep, I cleared my throat.

"What time is it? When did you get ready?" I said, rubbing the sleep from one eye.

"7:39 but... Um, well I didn't get much sleep actually," Delphine let out a little chuckle like she was remembering an inside joke.

"I didn't want to wake you, so I climbed over you to get off the bunk and went to the showers." I noticed she started playing with a loose string on the hem of her shirt. Wrapped it tightly around her finger then letting it free again.

"Doesn't matter though, the cheerleaders are helping with a few bits during the trip, so I had to be up early to meet them anyway."

Her confession made me feel guilty, I must have been thrashing, tossing and turning in my sleep. I hated myself for thinking I could have kicked her, or punched her. I must have kept her up all night, Plus this bed is too cramped for two people. I looked around for my glasses to see her better.

"Here," she handed them to me, knowing exactly what I was looking for.

"Thanks, Sorry if I didn't let you sleep. I know I tend to move a lot," I started climbing out of bed and pulling all my blankets with me.

"Non Cosima, leave your stuff there. S'il vous plaît." I frozen in my tracks.

"What if it's cold tonight again. I don't see the point of getting all your stuff from the bottom bunk back up again, plus it's not your fault I couldn't sleep. I just had a lot in my head that's all."

A smile spread across my lips as I realised she wanted me to sleep next to her tonight as well. Keeping it cool, I push my stuff back up giving me time to compose myself.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I should start getting ready then. The Early bird catches the worm!" I exclaimed stretching out as I stood in front of her. The smile on Delphine grew, her eyes slowly dragging down my body lingering on my midriff. Looking down, I see my shirt had ridden up, exposing some skin as I stretched, quickly ending my yawn I put my arms down. I felt conscious of myself, even though there was a twinge in my heart caused by her. She, on the contrary, was still shamelessly looking at me. When our eyes met a blush was painted on her cheeks like watercolor.

"You're cute, Cos." She said. Maybe it was the tender hours of the morning or the dream I had, but I felt a little daring. I wanted it to be my turn to push Delphine's button.

"Not as cute as you, puppy." At that, she laughed, her blush never leaving her cheeks.

"A puppy? Why am I a puppy?" Delphine took a small step towards me,

 _Good question_. How do I explain to someone that they're the physical embodiment of a small Cocker Spaniel? Especially when her hair is down and curly but her eyes quickly made me think of something.

"Well, starting with your chocolate brown eyes, they seem inviting and curious. They're playful, looking around for something to captivate their attention." Delphine licked her lips at my explanation.

"Oui, I think I finally found something that has their attention." Her hand rested on my right cheek, stroking me with her thumb. I couldn't help but press my face further into her touch but it seemed something caught her attention. Her soft fingertips dragged down my face and grabbed my chin, cocking it further to the right, she examined my left cheek. Her eyes twinkled.

"You should get ready, chéri. I have to go make breakfast now." she looked at my eyes again, her thumb dragging my bottom lip a bit. Conscious of my morning breath in this proximity all I could manage was a nod as I tried to swallow what felt like rocks. A dangerous line had been crossed, not knowing it was even drawn to begin with. All these subtle touches and flirtatious stares are pushing me to the end, and sharing a room with her was becoming noxious.

Delphine had made her way towards the door, about to close it behind when the panic inside me stirred, I didn't want her to leave.

"Will I see you later?!" I hollered. Trying to make her linger in my company a little longer. She didn't turn to look at me but she stalled.

"Of course, bébé." then she was gone. Alone with my thoughts, the gears in my body began to move again. I climbed up the small ladder of the bunk and made our bed.

_Our bed._

The longing in my heart ached to know we would press against each other again. I never made my bed at home, but sharing a bed with Delphine inspired a domestic side of me I didn't know was there, I wanted it to look nice for her, so this little gesture wouldn't hurt.

Putting on shoes and grabbing my bag with all my toiletries and a towel I made my way to the showers. It seemed to be a very nice day so far a little cloudy but they seemed to move across the sky, the morning chill hanging in the air. The sun was still hidden behind the silhouette of mountains, they didn't stop it from tinting the sky purple with blood orange. There were a few people at the showers already, I found a free sink and started brushing my teeth. Taking my reflection in I noticed something shiny on my left cheek. I got closer to inspect the mark, It was very faint, only visible against the light, gingerly touching the substance I knew what it was. The chapstick only belonged to one person. My heart thumped, I never in a million year would have thought a kiss on the cheek would be so sensual. Delphine had kissed me in my sleep, most likely when she left me. The yearning was no longer in my heart, instead, it had traveled to a very sensitive place below my waist. It was easy to distinguish the hunger in me swelling and the tingles that rushed in my blood. The flashbacks of my dream this morning wasn't helping either.

Cold shower it was, finishing up my teeth I got into the shower room, there were ten little rooms with curtain doors. Hurrying up I rushed into one of the available ones. It was cold as I undressed, the water only ran very warmly. I was shit out of luck, jumping in the shower, my mind never stopped running around my beautiful french roommate.

I was openly gay at school, I've dated before. Nothing serious though, but I know Delphine hasn't dated anyone yet. Although I wasn't sure about her sex life. All this time I just assumed she was straight, still I wasn't entirely sure about her sexuality. Looking down my body I remember all the encounter I've had. There were a few partners, I wasn't entirely confident in my action but at the same time, I wasn't entirely giving them my all. Something always held me back, I was never in love with them. With Delphine, on the other hand, I would give her all of me. The more time I spent with her the more I wanted to peel myself raw for her. Show her everything in me, my hobbies, my likes and dislikes, my dreams, and goals. There was passion in Delphine that I wanted to be a part of.

My hand unconsciously snakes down my stomach, passing my waist. There was passion in me too that I wanted her to be a part of. The shower was getting hotter, goosebumps raising all over me. I had to get out.

* * *

By the time I was dressed and making my way towards the canteen, the place was in a hustle. Everyone getting in the shower or just leaving, classmates running up and down the place, slamming cabin doors, yelling, laughing, goofing off. It was just like our first night here, the excitement was still in the air.

"Everyone! Activities start at 9! Be ready by then, Breakfast at the canteen!" Allison was using a megaphone to inform every goofball in the camp. She kept repeating it over and over. Making everyone aware of the plan. With a quick wink and a small wave at her, I walked down the slope to get breakfast.

The canteen was busy as I walked in, I saw Scott and the 'Battle Bitches' playing a game of Agricola. It was a bit too early to make them start their losing streak, I'll definitely be saving it for later. The queue for breakfast wasn't very long. Delphine caught my eyes, she was in the back of the kitchen stuffing paper bags with what I guessed was our lunch for later. It seemed like she was keeping her eye out for me too, because when our eyes met she waved and beckoned me over, with a smile I walked to her.

"Glad you made it on time. I was starting to think you would be late." She laughed, reminding me how much I loved the twinkle in her eyes when she did.

"I was hungry, dude. Last night kinda wore me out."

"Yeah, yeah," Delphine scrunched up her nose as she teased.

"I made you something though, I know you're vegetarian so your breakfast is different. Um, here." She handed me the little Tupperware she was holding.

' **COSIMA** ' was written on, in cursive, I could recognize Delphine's handwriting on anything. This little gesture made a smile spread on my face. I looked up, Delphine was looking for something in my eyes, her lip taken between her teeth, she looked so vulnerable. I couldn't help getting on my tippy toes to hug her. This wasn't just a small gesture I knew it meant much more to the both of us. It was affection and consideration.

"Merci," I whispered into her hair, this meant she cared and kept me in her thoughts. Her face snuggles into my neck and her arms tightened around my waist. I never wanted this to end but it was brief and our embrace was over. We just smiled at each other, lost in the moment.

"It's nothing really, it's just..." Delphine suddenly looked awkward. A blush crept on up her neck and cheeks. Her eyes examined the way I was holding the container, one of her hands reaching up to push a solitary curl behind her ear.

"I was wondering, well actually, I've been meaning to ask you something... If you wanted to hang out today? I just know we're going to do activities later and I wanted to spend my day with you. I mean you don't have to. I get it if maybe you wouldn't want to, being roommates and all, plus I know you and your buddies might have plans and tha-"

"Yes! I would love to!" I had to cut her off! I would have never thought Delphine Cormier was a rambler, even in class I never saw this side of her. A huge sigh of relief escaped from her, even her shoulders relaxed and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You would like to?" she asked, her eyebrows raised still looking a bit nervous. Without hesitation, I reassured her of what I had said.

"No, I would love to." The blond was delighted then, her perfect smile and rosy cheeks were more beautiful than the sunrise outside.

"Cos!" someone yelled from behind. Most likely Scott.

"Alright, well I should get back to the kitchen," Delphine said as she pointed back to her station.

"Mhm, yeah. I guess I'll go eat this." I said as I raised the container. Delphine was quick to stop me, grabbing my hand to bring it down and leveled.

"Be careful, with this."

"Why?" her strange statement made me curious. Still Delphine didn't answer, only shrugged. "So I'll see you in a bit?" She stated instead.

"Yeah."

Walking back to where the battle bitches were sitting I took all precautions to not move the container too much. Taking my spot I was greeted by everyone but was stared at a bit longer by Scott.

"Who made you that?" His chin jerked towards my breakfast.

Opening the lid carefully I was surprised. She knew my favorite thing to eat in the morning, it was a fruit and yogurt parfait, with a heart in the middle made with sprinkled granola and nuts, it was all so beautiful. It seemed like it belonged in an Instagram post. My heart swelled ten times its size, I will never get used to the way my whole being filled with fluttering butterflies and fireworks when something had to do with her.

_Her._

"Delphine," I whispered.

_With love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun-fact: I went on a school camping trip and all events happening now and in future chapters are from my experience, that's how I got the idea for all this. Except I wasn't in high school, there were 6 people in a cabin, not 2, back then I didn't know I was gay so everything was PG13. Also, I think we stayed 2 nights, not 3.
> 
>  
> 
> If you haven't noticed now, this is a slow burner. Hang in there.


	6. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys, i know i haven't updated in months. well long story short, I'm married to my LDR girlfriend, im american she is british so i applied for a visa and now living in england, finishing school and working. so yes, lots going on for me, but i would like to thank all the people that still read this and left their love, thank you very much. i hope it was worth the wait xx

I've finished the most delicious breakfast I've ever had in my entire life. Everything about it was perfect, just like the person that made it, Delphine. I ate in silence and watched the boys finish their Agricola game. Every once in a while, I would intervene to help someone or act as referee. My eyes never stopped wandering off towards the kitchen to catch a glimpse of the blonde. As well as catching her watching me, making us both smile like fools.

_I wanted to spend my day with you..._ That was what Delphine had said. She wanted to spend her day with me. I could physically feel my heart swelling up with every passing beat. From my peripheral, I noticed the cheerleaders leaving the kitchen, most likely done with their task. Seeing Delphine undo her apron she nods me over to the door. Before my heart can even beat again my hands and legs are moving, packing my things to meet her outside.

"Hey, so we have to write our names down for a team." she was saying as she pointed to a board that held multiple papers, some filled out, others with only a couple of people, it seemed the limit was just 10. She started writing down her name on one that was new. Then slowly began to hand me the pen, but just as I was going for it she pulled it away.

"Never mind, I want to do it." shrugging I let her, I wanted to watch her write it, my name. I wanted to know how she did the C, then the circle of the O, squiggly S, the I with its dot, the humps on the M then the A.

"Cute." She whispered under her breath. Turning to look at me, in this light her brown eyes reminded me of the dark wooden cabin we shared. Or the dark brown that all the fallen leaves and twigs made on the ground after rain. The crisp scent of old firewood still hung in the air from the night before but it didn't hide Delphine's perfume as we stood so close.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I realized she said, snapping me out of the daze I was in. Her hand went up to wipe something off her cheek.

"No. Don't worry, you don't have anything on your face. I was just daydreaming." I said shaking my head and looking away. A warm hand then took mine, I looked down to see her fingers laced with mine. Bringing a smile to my face, I rubbed my thumb on her soft skin.

"Want to go sit down?" She asked, biting down on her lip.

"Yeah of course."

Delphine pulled me towards a fallen log not far from the canteen. There were a few other students sat there as well. The canteen was starting to empty out. Everyone signing up to teams, crowding around the board.

"So how is Uni picking going?" she asked, making me immediately groan out loud. Causing her to laugh, bumping her shoulder to mine.

"Yeah, not very great actually. I'm so stressed out. I don't exactly know what I want to be, or where. My parents want me close but I'm not sure if I would like that."  I truthfully answered.

"You're so smart, perfect, charismatic and so many other things Cosima. You're going to do great things no matter where you're at," Delphine's eyes twinkled as she spoke about me.

"There is nothing that surprised me more than how gifted you are in science, working with you even inspired me to head in that direction. You're very special Cosima. Especially with what's in here," her index finger came to rest on my chest, where my heart would be, "you can use this, to help you up here." she then went to point at my temple. Only to brush a stray hair behind my ear.

Her simple words reassured me, the waves in my head settled down and the stress left my body. She made me so happy, and deep down I needed to hear that.

"You're right, totally. I just get overwhelmed sometimes. So overwhelmed by one single thing that I get like tunnel vision and everything else gets clouded over,  you know, and that little thing becomes the only thing I see. It just consumes me." a sigh left my lips, I rested my hands on either side of me on the log, lolling my head back as I felt lighter.

Delphine did the same thing, her hand rested near mine.

"I know what you mean," She said as she looked over to me.

"About being overwhelmed and consumed..." she continued.

"Yeah?" My word coming out croaky.

"Yeah, it’s a bit like being in love," her hand inched closer to mine, our thumbs grazing. The hair on my arms raised but still, I wanted her to continue so I didn't breathe or dared to move.

"The tunnel vision you get, as that one person becomes the only thing you see. Being consumed, inside out. Well, at least that's how I think it's like," her thumb caressing any part of my skin she could touch, her eyes never leaving me.

"At least, that's how I feel." She finished.

I turned to look at her, she still shined like the sun but her eyes were dark. Her hand held mine, in a soft embrace. A little too gingerly, there was always that shake to her, that tremble when we touched. Her teeth still toying with her lip in a nervous way, her eyes searched mine.

"Maybe... It’s the way I feel too." My voice was raspy as I spoke, the smokey air made my asthma worse as I struggled to get my lungs full. Although I never stopped noticing the way Delphine inched closer. She was slowly leaning in, her dark eyes hypnotizing me to do the same. Feeling her burning gaze drag down to my lips, making me feel timid so I turned away, towards the crowd, never forgetting that we weren't alone like it felt. But Delphine's hands went up behind my neck, gently pulling me closer to her. Her nose touched me first then her lips as she pressed down a kiss on my cheek. Then a more intimate one by my ear.

"Later?" She whispered as if knowing that 'us' needed to happen with only our two souls around. Not with adolescent mayhem surrounding us. So I nodded because that's all my body was able to do at the moment.

With a smile Delphine pulled away, her hand never leaving the back of my neck as she twisted her finger around my hair whilst I let her slowly drive me insane.

"Hope you birds don't mind," a voice called from afar. We both turned towards the voice. Sarah held up a piece of paper, waving it in the air.

"We signed up to your group!" Felix finished for her as he was trailing along, moving past the group. His hips swaying as he strutted towards us as if walking down a fashion show runway. Throwing Delphine a disapproval look when he halted to a stop.

"Delphine," he muttered with a scowl.

"Felix!" Delphine happily responded with a genuine smile. 

"Alright, alright you too. We're a team now, gotta exercise teamwork today." Allison chipped in.

I got up, taking the paper from Sarah and read the names out loud.

"Delphine, Cosima, Sarah, Felix, Allison, Helena, Donnie, and Scott. That's eight people, were still missing two." I noted. Everyone else just shrugged.

"That's okay, I'm sure if anyone can't find a group they'll be put into ours," said Scott.

"Even better if no one else joins, I have enough with you lot!" Sarah said as she pointed at us with a laugh. Before any of us could laugh with her Allison hollered towards the crowd.

"IF ANYONE NEEDS A GROUP WE HAVE TWO SPACES!!"

With that a curly blonde with cakey makeup ran towards us, stealing the sign-up sheet from me and quickly signed two names with her glittery pink gel pen.

**_Krystal_ **   
**_Paul_ **

"Invitation was not for you!" Sarah spits at Paul.

"Can't stand being around me or something." He winked at her and we all held in a chuckle to the irony of this situation.

With a sigh,I Felix opened his mouth, "Oh well, love. We all know about you too two, except only the two of you." The comment was most likely intended to his sister but it felt opened and indirect as he side-eyed Delphine and me, unintentionally making us blush.

 

The first activity wasn’t as awful as I thought. We first started off by survival lessons, as we were each given a book with pictures of edible plants. It was quite an easy task as I already knew most of them, being a geek does come in handy. Delphine never left my side, we walked shoulder to shoulder looking at the ground. Intentionally I would rest my hand on her lower back or arm when I wanted her to see what I was pointing at. The proximity between us only sidled as the minutes and hours faded into a blur. By the time we were on the last activity Delphine's arm was wrapped around mine as we walked back to the picnic tables we were having our lunch at and sat across from each other, being joined by the rest of the gang shortly after. There was apparently no break from these people.

 

“We did so well guys! I don’t think we would have won the tug of war if it weren’t for Paul.” Allison said with her usual cheery tone. Which resulting in Paul flexing his arm and winking at Sarah. She turned away, disgusted.

 

“Yeah that was great, but what about the part where Delphine freed her frog from being dissected.” I chipped in, not being able to help myself.

 

“YES! That was heroic, thank you, Delphine.” Felix nodded his head at her making Delphine smile wide, that beautiful smile that made me crazy.

 

“Well sestras I don’t like to brag, but I caught first fish and made fire,” Helena said.

 

To this Sarah put her arms around Helena and gave her a little squeeze, those two had been bonding all day. Things like these made our group feel right, we all worked hard together, being a team came naturally.

 

 We all had our bagged lunch, munching away. The atmosphere was filled with talk and jokes as the, teacher presented awards to individuals that excelled in activities, Helena was called several times for that reason. By the time we finished eating our packed lunch everyone was involved in their own conversation, there was three in our table alone, splitting the group up. But I was not interested in the conversations, there was only one person that had my full attention and I had hers.

 

_“_ Can I show you something?” She asked, her eyes twinkling as I feel my cheeks burn.

 

“Yeah, of course,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. Delphine gathered her things and walked away. No one in the group appeared to notice, so I followed. I got my things and walked towards the trash can, looking behind my shoulders, the group was still indulged in their own conversations. Delphine was a few steps in front of me as we walked passed the teachers, I was half expecting to be told off, yet no one did. We quickly did a sharp turn towards the forest and she reached for my hand as if it were the most natural thing. The gesture felt as if she had done it before as if she was meant to hold my hand. I understood that the spaces between her fingers were meant for mine to fit into hers.  

 

We ended up going up a hill, there were parts of the woods I hadn’t explored yet.  There was so much moss on the floor you weren’t able to know what you were stepping on. We went for a bit longer until we reached the peak. It was breath taking, as we reached a field of flowers, they had been undisturbed, as their flower stems were long and not far from the plain was a pond.

 

“Wow,” I said. Delphine just looked at me with her big smile.

 

“Yeah? You like it?” she asked excitedly.

 

“Yes, this is awesome!” I squeezed her hand tight and pulled her towards the field. I couldn’t help but giggle as we ran through all the pretty flowers, their scent hanging in the air.

 

“So when did you find this?” I asked.

 

“Earlier today, when I went for a run before helping with breakfast. As soon as I saw it I knew I wanted to bring you here.” That last bit was said softly. One of her fingers went up to play with a loose curl. It was obvious what she meant by it, but I wanted her to say it. I want things to be clear and watch the way her lips moved as she talked to me about it. I can’t take much of her clandestine touches, and keen eyes.

 

“Why, Delphine… “ I asked.

 

Her cheeks were rosy on her pale light skin. Those brown eyes looked lighter now, they searched in me while her teeth caught the side of her lip and then let her lip slip away.

 

“I…” she started. The wind stopped closing and the birds stopped chirping, as in they were letting Delphine explain.

 

“I’ve been crazy about you since the day we met. No matter how hard I tried to stop, you keep staying here.” She pressed her hand to her heart.

 

“Cosima, I think you’ve known for a while as well. You feel it through me don’t you, the way my body buzzes when I’m with you.” She grabbed my hands then, the tremble still there.

 

“I shake because I want so much of you,” Delphine explained.

 

“I want this. The way you make me feel, my heart swells up and my stomach drops. Cosima, I want you. Your laugh, your humour, your dreams, your mind, your lips.”  Delphine’s hands went up to hold my face, they were soft and gentle. Her eyes dark and glazed, she leaned closer in, wetting her lips before pressing them on mine. But not before whispering “ _I want your heart, I want you to completely be mine”._

 

For a second I was convinced I was dreaming. I felt like I was breathing sand, my lungs feeling heavy and I was suffocated by it. But I felt a soft shaky breath escape her, triggering a frenzy within me. I parted my lips to feel her deeper, her arms wrapped behind my neck as I place mine on her hips, pulling her closer. I felt the hunger in her as she stepped closer pressing herself against me, her trembling lips moving with mine.

 

_She wants you Cosima, she wants you._   


End file.
